No They. Just Me. And Lots of We.

Here’s an update on me, my health, and our story together here.

They’ve figured it out.

And by they, I mean we, because THEY can’t put me on medication. I choose to take medication. THEY can’t figure me out or fix me no matter how hard they try, because this thing isn’t theirs. I’m not a bystander, a victim, a receptacle. My health is mine and only mine.

And your health is yours.

You can’t give it away to some outside expert like you can worldly things like taxes or broken toilets. Thank goodness for accountants and plumbers!

Your health is not worldly. It may seem worldly because your body is here and you feed it with things of the earth. But it’s not. It’s all wrapped up in your emotions and your story and your journey and your road forward. It’s not separate from you like your toilet or those taxes. You created it and fed it and lived it and own it. So you can’t give it to someone else to take care of or figure out or fix.

And just like that, there also are no answers that appear from thin air or magic pills to make those answers go away. Things just make sense or they don’t. That’s it. And when they make sense, you work at them and you love on them and you keep building them into yourself.

No, there are no magic pills, but there is magic, because where you put your attention something does grow. Where you put love and energy and time and hope, a new thing appears. There’s movement. LIFE. When you take the things that make sense and take them in, it is magical.

And that’s all right and good, but it’s abstract and so here’s the concrete. I have Lyme Disease. Chronic Lyme Disease or MSIDS. (Read great stuff about what it’s like here and here.) In short, it’s amazingly tough and rough. Like whoa. There really aren’t enough words or at least I don’t have them. It seems onomatopoeia works best really.

Anyway, I will continue to put my attention on my health, and my health will continue to grow. I will continue to love on myself, to integrate new information and practices and build this life with the energy and vigor to do all that I have planned and more.

I know you will support me and send me the most beautiful messages of love. But honestly, why do you really care? Other than a reader without much new content to read, how does it impact you in your life?

Well, because really this is about you and your child. Like your health is yours, so is your child’s. I mean it is intertwined with you, it is a part of you. Her physical health, but also her development, her process of growth, is not yours. It is NOT YOURS, but it IS your responsibility. You don’t get to choose it, but you have to provide for it. And you must know you can’t give that away to be fixed or tweaked or messed with either. And that’s why you care about what I’m saying.

Because this whole place of Little Stories was created so that you knew not to give these things away. In fact you CANNOT give them away. Surely you can seek advice, guidance, and knowledge from the experts. You seek it and soak it up and then you funnel every little bit down from your ears and your mind. Down, down, down, down. Like water down the drain. You suck that information right down into the filter of your Mama Gut. You know, your Mama Gut? Yes? No?

Well, I love Dads. Dads are brilliant and playful and optimistic and imaginers. They are EVER so important. But moms have good stuff too. Moms have Mama Guts. Mama Gut is that worry, that pit, gulp, knot, thump, squeeze, pressure, burn, when you know something. When no matter how much someone tells you things are fine, you can’t quite relax into it or unknow what you know. Mama Gut is that place that feels beaming and soft and flowy when you know you’ve found the thing that makes sense, that works, that you already knew. Mama Gut knows what’s right.

MamaGut

There will be more to come some day as I can provide it and if you’re interested in my Lyme story, because there’s a WHOLE LOTTA LESSONS coming out of this mess. Some day there’ll even be more on language development and play and speech and toys and toy rotation, but for today I want to encourage you and that Mama Gut. Here’s what I really want you to know – YOU ALREADY KNOW THE ANSWERS AND HOW TO DO THIS THING.

Ha! See that? I want you to know what you already know. It’s really all that simple. I’ve always told you that what I’m doing here isn’t fancy. It’s not rocket science. It just makes sense. You know it. You know how to be with your child, how to engage with her, share in her life. You may have forgotten, or gotten too busy, but you still know it. So while I’m away, the most important message I can share with you if you need more information than that, or even if you just need a reminder, is to seek what you already know to be true. Seriously.

SEEK WHAT

YOU KNOW

TO BE

TRUE.

How Can I Help My Child

When you hear something or read something, look and feel for the truth, whatever it may be for your particular child and her situation. And then take that truth, study it and know it more.

Forget the magic pill and instead integrate the magic of the truth into your child’s life. Attend to her with time and focus and understanding and softness. Provide for her the magical combination of the truth and your attention, and then watch her grow.

THAT is how your child will learn language and how to communicate and be in this world. That is how she will open, unfurl, and flourish.

Know what I mean?

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13 Responses
  1. stacy says:

    I love you and your beautiful mama gut. Wishing you the best and hoping you find a place of comfort and joy that you can sustain. Sending hugs my friend, I know this post took courage for you and it is wonderful.
    stacy recently posted..What’s for Dinner This WeekMy Profile

  2. Laura Mize says:

    Wishing you health and happiness and all the TRUTH you posted!! Mommas do know MAGIC, even when they think they don’t. Thanks for all you do to remind them to learn, learn, learn and then follow our guts to do what’s right for their own babies and as SLPs, for our little friends. What a great message, no matter who or where we are!

  3. Deborah says:

    Beautiful Kim. And we are here to support you and help along the way, you are such a fighter and a healer, can’t wait to see you healthy again. Xoxo

  4. Janelle says:

    Thank you for sharing this! Somehow I suspected Lyme with your post a few months ago. My partner has been diagnosed with Lyme for 3 years, and being that OCD-type of SLP, I’ve read very book I could find on it! He is improving, and I absolutely believe that you can get better also. Life with Lyme is a tricky path, for sure, but you CAN navigate it!

  5. For all of your support and true caring for other women, I say back to you thank you for listening to your mommy gut on behalf of you. That is a gift for your children too. This is a bold brilliant beautiful post Ms. Kim. Congratulations on moving forward.
    Love,
    Shalagh
    Shalagh Hogan (Say Shay-la) recently posted..Knowing and WantingMy Profile

  6. Kalika says:

    Thank you for your wonderful website, Ms. Kim. It’s really helping me find my “voice” with my family and my child, who we are realizing has special needs in learning to communicate and connect. I pray for your health and continued strength. xoxo

  7. Nicole says:

    Love your blog. Stumbled on it recently and have been devouring your posts. I recently started the toy rotation — my life and living room have improved drastically! I wish you the best on your health journey and have a link to share. http://primaldocs.com/opinion/lyme-disease/.

    • Kim says:

      Thank you! I love that link. I’ve been thinking a lot about this. AND I could not agree more that diet is key. I changed my diet about three years ago, before I knew I had Lyme, following mostly a WAPF/NT diet and all my health issues improved so much that I thought that was the key. I thought I was better. But even with maintaining my diet and even improving it I got very sick after the birth of my second and could not get better. That’s when I learned about Lyme. I’m not doing any antibiotics, just building my own health, but unfortunately I have to do that with more than just food. It does make me concerned how many people are treating with crazy antibiotics and just continuing to eat the SAD. Where I disagree with the article is that Lyme is the same as it always was. I agree that we are immunocompromised but I also think Lyme has changed. Hate to be a conspiracy theorist but the way that Lyme spread from CT and NY, near Plum Island just makes too much sense that it’s not simply an issue of diet. If so it would have begun equally spread throughout the entire country. Although that’s the case now, it wasn’t when people were initially getting sick. SO, anyway, I’m so thankful to have a thoughtful reader like you who is interested in toys and diet like me! Maybe we can have important chats and be real friends. :)

  8. Jennifer says:

    Just came by your site via pinterest and it’s so informative, thank you. Sheena, the incredible woman who writes In the little red house, beat Lyme. She’s inspiring in so many ways, I’m sure she would have supportive words and ideas for you. Wishing you the best on this journey. You can beat this!

    http://inthelittleredhouse.blogspot.com

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