I have to admit that my daughter has great language skills. I’m so reluctant to say that because I know how hard some children struggle to grasp and use language. I know that many of you are here because your child finds communicating a challenge and I don’t ever want to seem like I’m bragging or like my family is in any way perfect. I’m also reluctant to say it because as a speech-language pathologist people tend to credit me with my daughter’s language skills. I hate that because it takes away from who my daughter is on her own. Really, language is all her. She seeks it out. She is a communicator always looking for meaning and understanding. That’s just her. And while she has other challenges (and trust me EVERY child does no matter how well behaved they appear at the restaurant or how sweet they are on the playground), language comes easy to her.

I chose to go off topic a little from the norm today and share about my daughter, because in her ability to communicate, her words have often become little windows into the mind of a child. As her mom I get to peek in, see her, and try to understand. Even more, I’ve been learning. Each time I peek inside one of her word windows, the view is like an important lesson perfectly illustrated in front of me. These images bound together form a picture book of life’s lessons in their truest form – pure and innocent, unassuming and honest. I’ve seen how difficult it is to grow up. I know that to be true even for us grown ups. I’ve seen that even if you have the words to talk about it, you are still just two years old and you can’t escape how that feels. And really that’s a lesson to me about how we are all just human beings and none of us can escape the feelings that life evokes. And although I’m sure it will be replaced in the near future, this week I saw one of my favorite lessons thus far.

While going for a family walk one evening, we saw a cat with a little nub for a tail. My daughter pointed it out and said, “That cat is silly. How can she tickle us with no tail?” I realized my daughter was thinking about how our cat seems to tease us with her tail, gently wrapping and waving it, giving us a little tickle while she gets her ears scratched. But as I processed it more, my daughter’s simple question stunned me.

In her question, my daughter illustrated how she BELIEVES that cats exist to tickle us. I could brush it off and think that she understands that cats have a greater purpose, but I think the great thing about these word windows is the clarity of truth in them. So I took it at face value and I thought about how magical this world must seem when things exist FOR YOU. Then in that moment I found the essence of childhood. I think. The elusive spark that makes children giggle unexpectedly, smile with their eyes and feel pure joy at any moment is the belief that this world is like your own personalized Candyland with infinite gifts and concierge.

Kind of like this…

Cats are beautiful and fluffy creatures existing to tickle me. That’s so sweet! Thanks for the tickle, kitty! Mom’s arms were created to hug me and her hands to hold mine (and receive my trash). I love my mom. Dad’s shoulders are a chair and his body is my transportation. My dad is amazing. My dog is here to be my friend. He loves me. My toys are mine and they’re awesome. My house is my castle. My yard is the world outside. My teacher’s live at my school waiting for me to come and play. Everything is here because of me and for me. The world was created when I was. This is my world and it’s amazing.

But some days things are all wrong. How could the cat not want to tickle me right now or Mom not take my trash? Why can’t I have candy because I want it and why is it raining when I don’t want it to? I shouldn’t have to wait when I’m hungry and I don’t want to sit here now. I can’t find my shoes so someone must have taken them! I’ll never fall asleep. I don’t have to share my toys, they’re mine. It’s like everything and everyone have betrayed me. Candyland has been hit by a tornado, I’ve been stripped of all of my treasures and no one understands my troubles.

Not only is the magic of childhood created from this ego-centric nature, the epic, overwhelming aspects are born from it as well. When everything is all about you, that’s awesome and horrible at the same time. Everything is for you or against you.

And then I noted, as adults we are not immune to this all about me thinking. It’s just that we tend to use it mostly when things are going wrong.

Why is that car in my way? Why is the cat bothering me right now? Why won’t my kids be quiet when I’m trying to think? Why did the refrigerator have to break today? 

This word window lesson allowed me to understand my daughter more. She may be verbal, but she’s just two and smack dab in the middle of all about me thinking. The world feels exciting and overwhelming to her. She needs my support and understanding everyday to feel safe and not beaten up when the world doesn’t cooperate.

This word window lesson allowed me to understand me more too. I can use my awareness of all about me thinking to brighten my own life – to stop it when it’s making things hard for me and to use it when it can bring me more joy. All about me thinking can bring some of the magical spark of childhood back into my life each day.

I believe this is Candyland, my house is a castle, and cats have tails just for tickling me.

Jennifer of the simply fabulous Classic Play asked me about how I encourage creativity as a mom. I was thankful for a chance to be involved in her great website because I BELIEVE in classic play, and excited to work with Jennifer because she’s incredibly talented and super sweet. Here’s me getting a little personal and sharing about creativity at our house…

I’m creative, not crafty. I can’t sew, knit, crochet, draw or paint. I depend on my mom to share her crafty quilting, basket weaving and rug braiding with my daughters. Instead, my creative outlet is through story and play. One of the reasons my job working with young children makes me feel great is because I get to be creative in this way. Even more awesome, I get to play and tell stories as a mom everyday, all day. I know by sharing my creativity with my daughters, it will spark theirs. So, we really live it up with stories and play around here, and this is how we do it.

1. Have less. I just can’t say it enough – having fewer toys leads to better play. When  children are not distracted by all of the toy chaos, they can focus on deeper play experiences and begin to really tap into their own creativity and imagination. We have fewer toys by buying less and rotating what toys we do have. We also repurpose household items, like using empty spice jars as play items for my daughter’s kitchen. These spice jars have allowed for months of creative play centered around seasoning food and trying out the varied actions of sprinkling, pouring and measuring. But even better than repurposing, is when we can create. When we don’t have the toy we “need” for our play, we may create one by painting it and cutting it out, like this vase of flowers. Necessity is the mother of invention, right?

2. Have good. Besides having fewer toys, having good toys makes all of the difference. Good toys don’t do much on their own. They don’t have push buttons or a digitized voice. Instead, they require your child to do all of the steering, soaring, sautéing, stacking, and singing. Good toys can be played with a million different ways which allows for endless creative options, from a simple stir to a complex tea party complete with an assortment of scones. So we are really choosy when it comes to toys. // Click over to read more. //

Ready?

In the comment section of this post, describe the worst SCLAN in your house (past or present).

Thursday night I’ll pick the worst of the worst and help you out with a Toy Makeover. Yeah, yeah!

I’ve gotten several e-mails and phone calls recently from friends and Little Storiesers asking what to buy for upcoming birthday presents. Even though I’ve written about gifts before, I don’t feel I’ve done the topic justice. It seems that not only are we lured and marketed into buying some pretty bad toys for our own kids, we gift even worse ones away. So let’s just establish it now – your friend does NOT want you to give her son a noisy alphabet guitar for his first birthday.

But what are good gifts?

Good gifts encourage real play, which by nature is good learning. I shared some ideas about how to give great gifts a while back on Modern Parents Messy Kids, but today I’m going to take a portion of that post and blow it up. Today’s ideas are also specific to those little ones (ages 1-4) and will help encourage awesome players and little literature lovers from the start.

Why are they good gifts?

Well, because they’re BOOK THEMED gifts! Everyone likes to give books. You know, there’s nothing like a book with pictures to really help a child SEE a word or an idea and to begin to truly give it meaning. Books can ignite a child’s imagination. There’s also nothing like a theme to repeat an idea or word, to put a ton of marks on the same few pages, and to get a child into the act. SO, when you put the two together and give book themed gift sets you get an A+ for smarts. Bonus? You get fun too. Now you’ll never have an excuse to give that alphabet guitar again.

Well, what are these gifts sets already?!

1) Tucked In Tight: Pajama Time and favorite character pajamas make the perfect bedtime duo. The book consists of a showy good night song that when paired with a favorite pjs give the gift of sweet dreams.

2) Seek & Find: You know I don’t care if you switch up boy and girls because either way these Treasure Hunts for Boys and Girls are a blast. Pick one and pair it with a wand to point out all of the finds along the way. The super special surprise – the wand is an ‘I Spy Game’ itself! Yep. Your giftee can spy in the book AND spy in the wand.

3) Classic Rhymes: Mother Goose and a carton of Humpty Dumptys make good ole nursery rhymes fun and fresh. This beautifully illustrated book will be treasured for many years to come.

4) Make a Splash: Pair Little Quack with rubber ducks for a pretend-filled bath time as a little one gets to act out the story of the ducks bravely jumping in the water.

5) Little Lessons: Why not have fun and teach a beautiful life lesson? Gift the book Stone Soup with some beautiful wooden vegetables and encourage cooperation and a positive attitude. This story is perfect for the 3-4 year olds especially when paired with the Stone Soup Game.

6) On the Farm: For a perfect first birthday present, gift the hilarious Peek-a-Moo and a great stringing farm toy or puzzle.

7) By the Pond: How much fun is one of the best books ever and a sticky tongue? A lot! Share the awesome tale and gift these fly catching frogs so the birthday boy or girl can have a blast telling the story of the Wide-Mouthed Frog over and over.

8) On the Easel: This smart story got my reluctant artist to draw and paint. Nothing simpler or better than The Dot and some watercolors.

9) At the Zoo: Good Night, Gorilla is a brilliant book because it’s great for children of many different language levels. It can be simple for the younger ones or more complex as the child’s language grows. Pair it with some zoo stickers and you’ve given a child a lot to talk about.

10) Under the Bed: Preschoolers love to conquer their fears of monsters by taking control. Pair the classic Go Away, Big Green Monster with a paper bag art set, the Go Away Monster Game, or Melissa & Doug monster bowling to help banish those monsters under the bed.

What are your favorite books? How could you pair them with a toy or item to really make the story come to life?

If you’re not sure, look out for my next post on how to make your own book themed sets. Yes, I still have more great gift giving ideas and this time we will take YOUR favorite book and turn it into a great gift set. It’ll be a hit with you crafty Little Storiesers as you’ll be able to get making, cutting, sewing, and creating!

* This post contains affiliate links.

I’m coming back.

I have had such a great time away bonding as a family with our new little love and surviving my husband’s very busy time of year at work. With some sense of a peaceful rhythm beginning to return to our lives, I’ve been thinking about you all. I have ideas that have been brewing, exciting ventures beginning, and more to share than I have time to write!

So, I’m starting off easy and fun, but hopefully helpful, with a post on great gifts to get you all ready for those upcoming birthday parties. Keep an eye out for that this week.

I can’t wait to hear from you all about what your children have been up to, how they’ve been sharing their story, and how you’ve been connecting through real interaction and good play.

Some of you may have caught a clue here or there, but I haven’t formally announced the next (really awesome) chapter of Little Stories.

So, here it is…

We are so grateful to be readying the welcome of A NEW LITTLE GIRL!

Our daughter is over the moon with excitement for her sister’s arrival and we already feel how important this little one is to the fabric of our family.

With preparations, the holidays, and pregnancy exhaustion settling in, I’m going to take a little break. I’ll be doing a lot of what you see above – cuddling up with good books and squeezing in for lots of family time. I may post some links to our Facebook page from time to time to give you relevant reminders or to share awesome info, but my presence will certainly be less frequent.

Before I go, I’d just like to say thank you for being a great community of thoughtful parents and caring professionals, enjoy the holidays, please have fun playing and relishing your little ones, thank you (yes, again), make sure you’re caught up on the latest posts…

• How to Teach Your Child Everything, and
• Putting Good Teaching Into Action (a mostly picture post), then….

stay tuned! I have a ton of ideas ready to go for you when I get back, and I’m more excited than ever about Little Stories and all of the possibilities here.

Yesterday, I explained the foundations of good teaching. Today, I’m going to give you a mostly picture post to SHOW you what it looks like.

I love the bear theme this time of year because there are so many concepts you can cover and so many great books to use. Plus, how much fun is it to bring out those cuddly teddy bears and put them to work?

We’ll start with “Inside, Outside, Upside Down” by Stan and Jan Berenstein. I love this story because it focuses so clearly on prepositions, has simple rhyming phrases, and the storyline is fun. In a nutshell, a bear climbs in a box, the box is turned upside down, taken outside, and loaded on a truck on its way to town. When the truck hits a bump, the box falls off, the bear comes out, and he runs home to tell his mom, “Mama, mama. I went to town, inside, outside, upside down!”

Here I am with two cuties doing some show and tell using the book and fun props, with a little “involve” mixed in.

Next, because repetition is important, we are going to stay with the topic of prepositions for another book by the same authors, with similar illustrations and using the same bears as props. This allows the children to really focus on the prepositions, because the structure of the activity is very much the same and they don’t have to filter out too much information to stay focused on those pages for prepositions.

We’ll use “Bears In The Night” (also by Stan and Jan Berenstein), add in a bed for the bears to sleep in, and add some printed pictures. These pictures of items in the story (like a lake, rocks, and a bridge) can be set up around the room so that children can actually act on them like objects. For example, I like to put the picture of the bridge on top of a chair or table so children can take their bear and climb under it, or take the pictures of the lake and have the children actually walk around the picture with their bear. The pictures then not only help with the show part, but definitely add in more involvement.

In this story the bears are in bed when they hear a sound. In search of the noise, they curiously get out of bed, go to the window, climb out the window, and so on, to overcome several obstacles until they reach spook hill. At the top of the hill they find the source of the sound and are so startled by it that they quickly retrace all of their steps (again more repetition) to get back to the safety of their bed.

After reading the books using show and tell, with a little involve mixed in, I would make the materials available to the children for free play so they could be completely involved and practice the concepts. I may also follow up the play with a simple art project like putting a teddy bear sticker between two rocks, inside a box, or under a bridge.

What do you think? I’ve told you the good teaching basics, shown you them in action, and now I want to involve you. What other books or activities could you use to repeat these concepts and fill up these pages?

And if you were loving that cute red bed and bedding, check out Lovelane Designs. She made it and has many other beautiful creations for kids and adults.

I know you all are very interested in prepositions, like in, out, around, and under, and I don’t want to do a bait and switch, but in explaining how to teach those tricky prepositions, it’s best to start with basics of good teaching. There are really only four steps to teach your young child any language concept, and many other concepts and skills for that matter. So let’s begin with the good teaching basics…

1. Tell.

When you want to teach your child something new, it’s best to consider if it’s something he’s ready to learn and then keep down the chatter, focusing primarily on what you really want him to learn. You do all this by staying in your child’s Zone of Proximal Development and then talking less, and saying more.

2. Show.

Most of us are visual learners or benefit from the addition of visual information to support learning a new concept. That’s why adults use handouts or Powerpoint for presentations. Children require different levels of visual supports depending on their level of abstract representation. If you were trying to represent the idea of being in bed, the continuum works kind of like this – a real bed, a blanket on the floor, a dollhouse sized bed, a color photograph, a color drawing, a black and white drawing, and finally, a symbol or the written word.

To keep it fun and interesting, I like to mix these different types of visual supports. For example, I may use a book that includes the written word and drawing of a bed, a miniature bed with blankets, and a separate, more symbolic image of a bed. When you offer up all of these different types of visual supports, you are putting all different types of marks on the same page, and filling that page more quickly.

3. Involve.

So, this is the really fun part. This is the play, the movement, the do. This is where you set up the environment full of all of those awesome visual supports (the book, the bed, the blankets, the picture of a bed, and toss in some teddy bears to represent the bears in the book). You add in a child already primed for learning because he’s experienced the steps of Show and Tell. Then, you turn him loose!

But, hold up. WAIT. There are a few quick things related to involving your child in learning that I’d like to point out… 

1. This smartly set up environment and free play time is integral to children really learning new concepts. If you skip this step and only do the Show and Tell, they don’t have a chance to generalize what they’ve learned to real play. Generalization of skills is king, because it’s how children are able to really use knowledge functionally each day. Giving time immediately, when the concepts are fresh in their mind, allows children to practice and kinesthetically act out what they’ve learned, and encourages them to internalize the concepts and integrate them into their knowledge base.
2. This Involve step, including movement and real play, is even MORE important for teaching prepositions. Prepositions can be abstract and confusing, and your child is going to learn much more at first from physically being in a bed or under a “bridge”, than from just looking at a picture of those ideas.
3. I know what you’re thinking. Well then, can’t I just skip the first two steps and get to the involve part? Some kids don’t need all of the prep work of telling and showing for them to be ready to explore and learn in a well set-up free play environment, BUT… some do. If you give some kids a teddy bear, a blanket, and a bed, they will engage in endless sequences of fun pretend play. Other children aren’t sure where to begin, and instead they may just ignore the materials all together because they don’t have a context that makes those things meaningful. The fact is, ALL children make more connections and benefit from integrated activities and repetition of concepts. So, it’s never a bad idea to tell and show first, maybe by reading a book or presenting exciting materials about a concept, before moving to the step of involving a child in the play. Children that already know and understand a lot about those concepts will have an even deeper experience and will easily take those ideas and expand on them during their free play.

One note about Tell, Show, and Involve is that they are not necessarily done exclusively in that order. For example, I tend to do all of my showing and telling together, mixed in with a little involving. Then, do a lot of involving at the end, mixed in with a little showing and telling. Make sense?

4. Repeat.

This is where a lot people drop the ball. Don’t just read that book today or set up the play scene once. Do it several times. Read two books on the same topic. Read both books for the entire week. Repetition is what fills pages, so keep the fun going to see how you can deepen or expand your child’s experience.

And now that I’ve told you the steps of good teaching, I’d like to show you. Stay tuned for tomorrow’s post, Prepositions: Two Ways, where you can see that bed and those bears in action.

First, I know. It’s differently, not different, but isn’t it fun to play with our language and not take it too seriously? After all, that’s what this post is all about – what we can learn from dads about not taking parenting too seriously. Dads play, parent, and do language development their way. It may be different from mom’s way, but that’s okay. In fact, maybe dad’s have it down.

Before all of you moms get all worked up, I guess my second disclaimer for this post is that I’m going to admit to stereotyping. Some moms are serious, while some are playful. Some dads do more play, while moms get stuff done. Some families work and play all together. I recognize that every family dynamic and individual is different, but I’ve worked with a lot of families, and there seems to be an overall trend. That trend is that dads are good at play. I think we should give credit where credit is due, and take away some lessons from all of those great-playing dads out there. Here’s what we should all remember…

1. Use what you’ve got.

Moms can be into having all of the right gear and all of the right toys, but dads will tell you to make do with what you’ve got. Whether it’s a caribiner for a little girl’s hair tie holder or a back for a pony ride, dads don’t need fancy toys. They use crazy voices, their strong bodies (am I buttering them up now, or what?), or everyday objects to get the fun going. So, channel a fun dad’s creativity and use a chair as a rocket ship or a pencil as a microphone.

2. Pack light.

Dads don’t need a diaper bag. They’ve got cargo shorts! How much stuff can a little one really need, right? That’s the beauty of dads – because they know how to use what they’ve got, they don’t need a lot of stuff. Take a cue from them and cut out all of the baby gear and kid clutter, keep it simple, and focus on good play and real interactions. Without all of that stuff to manage, it just might be easier to stay in the moment and enjoy your little one.

3. Be silly.

Whether it’s wearing a bib to match your little one’s, being a tickle monster, or using character voices to read a bedtime story, dads are great at using silly to keep kids connected. This silliness helps kids see that that there really is no rush, that there’s time to relax. It also shows them that it’s great to just be yourself and have a good time.

4. Live the fantasy. 

I’m not a sports fan. I just don’t get watching sports. The thing I really don’t get is the intrigue with fantasy football and baseball, but whatever that thing is that my husband has with fantasy is fine with me. I think that thing helps him get into the fantasy of eating whatever my daughter “cooks” and of being a very ill person requiring repeated trips to the “doctor”. Somehow he’s happy to eat 30 more bowls of strawberry soup than I can stomach and have his blood pressure checked 25 times in one day. So, even if you have to sit on a tiny chair to have a wooden, vegetable-filled bowl of soup, travel with your child to the limits of her imagination.

5. Move yourself.

Moms can be more likely to watch, comment, or even direct from the sidelines, but dads certainly tend to get in there and move. My husband will literally hurt himself to give my daughter repeated pony rides across the wood floor as my daughter yells, “Faster, FASTER!” All of this movement and touch helps kids to bond and understand their bodies, and those are both important things for learning. Plus, there’s nothing like an awesome pony ride to get a child to request it over, and over (and over) and that’s how you fill up pages and encourage language development. So, get up and use the gift of movement to get your child truly engaged in activity.

Do you know a dad with special skills? What have you learned from watching a great man engage with a child?

Are you a dad who has lessons to share? What have you learned from your special time with your children?

The Minimalist Mom asked “Is it rude to ask for no gifts?” in her quest for a simpler lifestyle and less toy clutter.

I flipped that question on its head and asked, “Is it rude to buy bad gifts?” in today’s post over on Modern Parents Messy Kids.

When buying kids’ gifts for birthday parties or other celebrations we can be easily enticed by toys that aren’t necessarily what you would want in your home for your child. I try to keep in mind that no kid really benefits from a ton of toys and that every parent will appreciate a quality gift in the long run. Here are some ideas to keep the fun in that special present, with a forward-thinking, minimalist spin.

1) Breathe new life into those great toys that your gift-receiver probably already enjoys. >>Read More