Maybe this post has no business here on this space. It has nothing to do with speech and language development. So this space has sat quietly for a long time. Waiting. Waiting for me to have the stories of children and speech and language to share again. But then I changed my mind.
You’ve been here with me, for a long time or short time, sharing the joys of parenting, negotiating the ideas of less stuff, more time, deeper connections, and telling me the story of your two year old (Is he talking enough?), or your playroom (I need help!), or yourself (I don’t know how to play, how to connect. I’ve been so focused on teaching my child red and blue that I forgot to see who she is, what she has to say.) You’ve shared a lot with me. I’ve mostly had on my professional hat, my speech-language pathologist uniform, listening and encouraging with a heart-centered, but academically-trained ear. I maybe shared a little here and there of my own story, but mostly you know me and my family only through the lens of my work.
Well today, I’m sharing a lot more. Honestly, this space has been quiet because it’s been waiting for me to feel better. I thought it was postpartum thyroid. I thought I was just too busy and tired with two kids. But in reality, I’ve been sick for a long time. Fourteen years. I got sick in college. Off and on, for my entire adult life, I’ve been on the verge of functioning, all the while looking perfectly normal on the outside. I don’t have visible symptoms of my illness, other than the white spots on my skin you may have noticed in my pictures. I’ve been bounced around from doctor to doctor with no real clue where I was headed or who could help.
Today I have some answers in the form of a doctor that I know gets it. I don’t know everything yet, but I do know that I have hope. I’m excited and relieved. I will write again here on this space. I have more to share. I will feel well enough to share it. So I’m ready to move forward.
Before I go, I have to say the obligatory, please don’t feel the least bit sorry for me. But I really mean it. It has not been an easy road, but life never is and many have worse stories than I. I will be okay and even with my illness, and my fair share of “lazy guilt”, I’ve accomplished a lot. In addition to building my career and my family, I’ve learned to eat really well, what good nutrition really is and how it feels, how to clean my home and care for my environment in a safe way, how to relax and slow down, how to trust my instincts, how to think and learn for myself, how to find really true and good and honest and loving friends, how big and deep a marriage can be, and who I am at my core.
I’m thankful for these gifts. I’m not sorry about my path.
I don’t know how much or how soon I’ll be back. But I do know tomorrow I will share something that happened recently that I’m particularly grateful for, something to which I think you’ll whole-heartedly relate. But. For now. That is all. THAT is my little story.
And if you want to follow along in pictures, even though I’m not always here on the blog, I’m usually still sharing on Instagram. I’m @thelittlestories and I’d love to see you there.Email this article »